September 24

When we planned this trip Brian and I had 2 Mystery Nights that we really hyped up. Jen said, "That's fine, as long as it's not a tent in the fucking desert." We had the big reveal.....and...IT WAS A FUCKING TENT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT!! Canvas tents with king sized beds and a wood stove. Sounds relaxing- quaint and unique - glamping at its best. Reality - a lot of highway traffic you could hear, scorpions, spiders and geckos. You could hear someone farting in nearby tents (no names mentioned). Outhouses and no power but the sunrises over the the Moab Mountains was pretty amazing and well worth the discomfort. 

We did arrive in Utah on a Sunday and quickly realized we broke our first two Road Trip Rules:

1. Never, under any circumstances, pass through Utah on a Sunday. 
2. Please see Rule #1. 

Everyone in this state is in church on a Sunday. E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. If Canada wanted to invade on a Sunday we could totally take this state. Probably wouldn't even need the military. Just kidding, we don't want this state. We have Drumheller. We did ask the Americans that we sat with at the fire at night if we could have Alaska. We would do a straight trade for Quebec. And for good measure Trudeau as well. Unfortunately they seem attached to Alaska so we just let them have Trudeau to show there was no hurt feelings. 

Utah, I think you may be the equivalent to the last kid picked for dodgeball.