- There are no obese people in this country. I’ve seen 2 overweight people- and I did not hear them speak so I cannot confirm their nationality (so I’m assuming they’re English or Polish. Also, side, side note - I’m amazed at the number of Polish people in Scotland!). Anyway, back to my “No Back Fat in Scotland” observation. The average weight here is probably 150lbs for these women! Apparently they have not discovered deliciousness of pastry pies or the availability of pubs every 40 feet. And no gyms (I know, I too am unfamiliar with the word - I hear it’s a place people go to “work-out”. Not sure what that means either). I want to know the secret, I won’t tell anyone. If I come back to Canada skinny you will know they shared it with me.
- Dogs. Callie Beamish you have to marry a Scot, I think they love dogs more than you! Everyone has one and most of them aren’t on leashes. Nope walking down the streets of Edinburgh with their dog trotting merrily alongside them. Stopping and sitting at the intersections waiting for the light to change. Going into pubs and laying on the floor while their owner enjoys a pint. Now, if anyone has met Turk he usually greets you by shoving his tongue down your throat and then licking your ears. I’ve raised a 8 pound Harvey Weinstein! 😯 Turk is awful. I kept thinking that he would grow out of it but recently I had an epiphany- THIS IS MY DOG. And Riggs, he is beautiful, I’ve been lulled into a false sense of confidence in Riggs because he is a kind, gentle soul who would take a treat from a child with the same placidity as a Buddhist monk but put a leash on him and suddenly he is Connor Mcgreggor and wants to fight everyone. My dogs would go into a pub and it would be chaos - Turk would jump all over everyone making out, begging for food, barking wildly while Riggs would pee on everything and catch a whiff of a mouse and tear up floorboards to catch it. What have I done with my life?! I’m attaching a photo in this blog to remind myself they’re cute (and I miss them like crazy!)
Anyway, recap of our day - late morning.....again. Every night we go to bed at 2:00 am and agree we’re going to have an early morning and 10:30 am rolls around and everyone is groggily climbing out of bed - not sure what we’re doing wrong 🤔. Darian and I went shopping. Great, great shopping. They have the cutest pants here. I’m also attaching a photo because that’s as close as I’m going to get to owning any because EVERYONE HERE IS SO FUCKING SKINNY I CANNOT FIND A PAIR TO FIT ME!! Bell bottom jeans are coming back into style - my Lord God how I’ve waited patiently for bell bottom and shoulder pads to come back and it’s looking like 2018 maybe my year! I did buy shoes (you can buy shoes for fat people) and a belt (as a side note - my favourite son-in-law Michael has been letting me borrow his belt. God love him he is very patient with my wardrobe issues). Also, you may notice in pictures I’m always wearing a scarf. This is a fashionable way to hide both my second and third chins I have developed in Scotland. Necessity is the mother of invention. (Jen is said “invention” not “intervention”). I also bought bib-overalls!! I have been on a cross Canada and Western USA quest to find blue jean overalls and finally I have got them. I love them and I also look like a tank in them - oh the irony.
While we were shopping the boys went to Surgeon Hall. This is a three story museum that houses every organ with every type of disease - broken bones, kidney stones, black lung, the list was long and horrific. I am adding another sentence to Things I Never Want To Hear Ryan Say: “oh my God, I’ve never seen so many penis’s”. This is the only time that sentence can be used where it is acceptable.
We went to meet up with the boys (after we took a cab back to the house to drop off our shopping!) and also decided we would cross another of our Top 10 Pubs off our list - The Devils Advocate. But first we climbed 1,000 fucking stairs to get to The Royal Mile (the street where we thought we were meeting the boys) and when we reached the top Darian checked her messages and said, “um, mom I have some bad news” yep, turn around and all the way down the stairs to the pub.......and then back up the stairs to the tour we were going on!! We did Mary King’s Close Tour. It’s in underground tour of old Edinburgh. It was very interesting but our guide was the one that made the tour - it was his 12th of the day and he had lost all interest. He had very dry humor and we loved it. Cracked us up.
Then more walking (14.3 kms, 22,147 steps and 33 floors climbed) such a beautiful city. We are really enjoying it. We came home and ordered Thai and Indian food! Lots of it. Darling Meagan joined us from her trip in Ireland and were excited to see a new face!!
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