April 20

Early morning - lots of driving today.

On our way to Culloden and Mike offered to drive - brave boy. Dekker is navigating and doing an excellent job until we realized there was a miscommunication and we missed Culloden, so, slight change of plans and on to Urquhart Castle. 

I’ve never been to Urquhart so I was excited to see it as well. Urquhart is on the banks of Loch Ness so we also looked for Nessie. She proved elusive but I think she may have been intimidated by The Kracken even though I only have 7 legs. I believe the Loch Ness monster only has flippers so 7 legs are still trump. Jordyn Williams, I still need you to shop for 3 black market legs in Columbia (btw - they can be black) - you can never be too careful with Nessie. She hasn’t survived this long by her good looks and sparkling personality. 

Historic interlude: Once one of Scotland’s largest castles, Urquhart saw great conflict during its 500 years as a medieval fortress. Control of the castle passed back and forth between the Scots and English during the Wars of Independence. The power struggles continued, as the Lords of the Isles regularly raided both castle and glen up until the 1500s.

The last of the government troops garrisoned here during the Jacobite Risings blew up the castle when they left. Urquhart’s iconic ruins remain, offering glimpses into medieval times and the lives of its noble residents.

So basically, when the British soldiers left they said, “fuck the Scots, they’re not keeping this castle”. Fuckers. 

When we left the castle driving north (come hell or high water I’m seeing Culloden) we had a quick chat in the car about seeing Nessie. We need bait. Dekker is too hairy, Darian doesn’t have enough meat on her body, I’m the Kraken and she’s afraid of me, Ryan is an option but so is Mike and we’ve already determined that he is feuding with 1/2 of Scotland so it only makes sense...... So we tried to sacrifice the Gordon but apparently Nessie and the Gordon’s are allies. He lived. 

Then to Culloden. I’m not sure if you know about Scottish history but Culloden is the lowest of the low. It was very sad there. 1500 Scots died and only 300 English and it was, arguably, the end of Scottish independence. No more tartans, clans, bagpipes or kilts. We just missed the anniversary of the battle (April 16, 1746) and it is a testament to the significance of the day that although 272 years have passed there was still many flowers laid at the base of the Cairn. It was a very somber place. The English soldiers and Scottish clansmen were buried on the battlefield. 

Then on to Aviemore (this is the Scottish version of Banff, not to be confused with Banff, Scotland). Had lunch in a pub that was built in 1725 and had a pint and a bowl of soup. We stopped at the butchers and bought wild meat pies (venison, pheasant, pigeon, grouse and rabbit), chicken and curry meat pies and creamy chicken pies. I know what you thinking- “sounds like Stacy is on a diet, eating all that low carb pastry” Well no, actually, I’ve decided to eat and drink my way through Scotland but, prepare yourself, I have actually had sore legs from walking. I know! I’m as surprised as you are. 

Alright my post script is that yesterday was 420 and Mike, Dekker and Darian were sad that they didn’t leave milk and cookies out for Snoop Dog.