So I totally forgot a very important event from the day before. When we did our tour of Alcatraz (again, really cool) but we were told at the beginning that there was a previous inmate that was signing his book at the gift store at the end of the tour. So the end of the tour and we saw this little old man sitting by himself in the gift shop. He had a few curious visitors that wandered over and awkwardly asked him to sign their book. So we meandered over to browse his book, yep, this guy served 3 years for fraud. Ya, slightly interested, so Jen and I grabbed two books and headed over to the geriatric gentleman. So we approach Inmate #1259, William Baker. He had tried to escape from 3 prisons so he was transferred to Alcatraz. I’m going to try my best to recreate the conversation:
Inmate #1259: What is your name? (as he flips the book open to the first page)
Me: Stacy - with no "e"
Jen: So how long are you here?
Inmate #1259: I’ve got 3 years (obviously misunderstood our question - how long are you here signing books? Not - how long were you incarcerated?)
Jen and I have a little giggle on his behalf.....
Jen: How old are you?
Inmate #1259: 85
Jen and I both: WOW!
Jen: So when did you get out of prison?
Inmate #1259: 2011
Me: That was only 7 years ago!
Inmate #1259: Actually ma’am, it was 7 1/2 years ago.
Jen: (noticed he was wearing a wedding ring) So you are married?
Inmate #1259: Yes. I live in Ohio and I have a wife, a dog, a car and a house.
Jen: So you’re at peace now?
Inmate #1259: I was always at peace. I was good at what I did. When I got caught I served my time. I got a degree in prison. Now that I’m out I’m making more money that ever with this book.
Jen and I were speechless. The first thing I have to admit is that I went into our conversation with a preconceived notion and secondly I was ageist. I think think that he was a criminal that did not physically harm anyone, not that it makes him less criminal, just less of a threat to society. And the age issue. Just because he is 85 doesn’t mean he can’t plan and commit a crime. But it honestly made me respect him for his commitment.
So now on to out actually September 22 day. We woke up, made mimosas and got in our limousine to go on our Napa wine tour. It was so fun. It was the closest thing we could find for Brian to ride on that wasn’t an actual Short Bus. Yes, he is still in immense pain and yes, we are still making fun of him. We head out of San Francisco and the boys dozed on the drive. Losers. Us girls chatted and drank our Mimosas and played music. Stopped at our first winery - James Cole. It was quite chilly but we sat in the sun and enjoyed 1 white and 3 red and bought 4 bottles between us. Really nice vineyard and great wine manager. Our comments:
Jen: I’m excited to taste the next wine (he was a little long winded and was chatting cars with the boys)
Kim: I wish we had more time. I would have loved to talk more to him.
Me: He had great eyelashes.
Second winery: Cliff Verde. To begin with my Visa was declined and then I got a text from Visa that there was suspicious activity on my Visa account. Now Visa - seriously. Seriously. I cannot believe that Paul at the Visa Head Office doesn’t say, "Holy shit Steve! That fucking Stacy Ingham is at a winery in California now, drinking wine?!" Nope. Visa, like my sponsor, is saying, "Um, sorry Stacy. Maybe you should not partake in these libations" Well a quick call to Visa Paul to confirm that I was actually in a winery in California and please pay for my taste testing and all was well. We met our Art, our Wine Steward to guide us through the options at this lovely winery. Once we introduced ourselves and told him we were from Alberta he asked if we knew of Ledcor. Ummm, obviously. Well, Cliff Lede that owns Ledcor is, coincidentally, the owner of the Cliff Lede Winery. So apparently if you know construction you also know wine. Art was fabulous. He had some very important life lessons:
1. There is nothing more useless in this world than a bottle of wine that is not chilled (apparently he is not familiar with Rachel Notley because I think she is far more useless that a bottle of warm champagne!)
2. The metal caps are on top of champagne to stop the mice from chewing the cork and the French put the foil wrapper on a champagne bottle to hide the amount they put in each bottle (fucking French)
He also said he has a degree from the University of Colorado so he is reasonably he attended. He was very witty and had great knowledge that he shared about picking grapes, various areas for different grapes, etc. He also wrote down his favourite wines but unfortunately he penmanship is so awful we cannot read then - which leads me to question the University of Colorado degree.....
Back on the limo and off to our third and final winery. Silver Oaks. After our last two wineries it was disappointing to walk into The Silver Oak’s tasting room and see 200 young pretentious people. Needless to say it was a quick stop (and we were kinda over red at this point and we had white chilling in the car). So back into the limo and heading south for our temporary home - San Francisco. We had an impromptu concert in the car and sang the shit out of every ‘80’s hair metal song we knew. We sang louder and better than Sebastian Bach or Axl Rose ever could have. Poor Alfredo was very grateful for the glass partition separating him and us. Little side note on the limo - those crazy hills in S.F. are not limo friendly- we tagged bottom on the limo creating a hill. 😳
Home and a quick poker game - to be honest, by this time in the evening I cannot remember who won the game.....or what game we played....or who played.....
But we decided as it was our last night we needed to ride a trolley. Yep, we needed to spend $42 to go 5 blocks and have supper at one of the oldest restaurants in S.F. again the name escapes me....Ruebens? Bourbons? Charlie’s? Who knows? I had the best crab cakes - never too liquored to remember the food! Then another $42 for 5 blocks back. Now it was $84 but it was completely worth it. The elevation we climbed is comparable to Base Camp on Everest. I’m assuming when we got home we went to bed......
September 23 - packing up day - I hate these days. This is when I have to answer to my zipper on my suitcase. That zipper is working harder than all of us combined. Ryan is slowly, quietly planning my demise. Every time he lifts my suitcases (there are 2) he looks at me with anger? Frustration? Acceptance? I know I just look away and pretend I’m doing something else. Every stop we acquire more stuff. In Walla Walla we "borrowed" 4 very nice wine glasses from the restaurant and I’ve been carefully stowing those away. Bend we did some shopping, San Fran I bought boots....yes the car is full. So we have to pack all of our stuff down 3 flights of stairs. 3 flights that twist. Death defying. Then we need to load in the same fashion as a pit crew when changing tires in the middle of a race. Ryan parked the Walisser’s car and it was slightly over the white line that indicates the width of the trolley car that passes. Up comes the trolley and the driver yelled obscenities at Kim like I’ve never heard before. Anyway we make it out of the city and are headed north along the coast. Drove through the redwoods and along the pacific coast. Beautiful. Made it as far north as Trinidad. Stayed in a very quaint little inn. There was a crazy lady in the room beside Ryan and I and every time we left the room she would talk to us - I was tempted to fake my own death to get away from her. She asked Brian where we were from and he answered Alberta. She then asked, "How far into Canada is that?" He said. - "Hours". Ordered pizza in and played poker.
September 24 - still pushing north. Stopped in Coos Bay at the casino and played some 3 card poker. Ryan was finally on a winning streak - started with $80and left with $125. Not me - started with $70 and left with my dignity. Made it to Florence and had great rooms right on the beach. Brian could finally have a hot tub - spoiler alert - it didn’t help. Good supper, great waiter then to bed.
September 25 - destination Portland. Was going to be a short day until we stopped for lunch and we waited 2 hours to get our food. And then it was cold. But it was still pretty good. Arrived in Portland, bought some groceries and made it to the rental house. And what a surprise- best house to date. Had some supper, hot tubbed, played cards and sat around the fire. All in all a damn good day.
Inmate #1259: What is your name? (as he flips the book open to the first page)
Me: Stacy - with no "e"
Jen: So how long are you here?
Inmate #1259: I’ve got 3 years (obviously misunderstood our question - how long are you here signing books? Not - how long were you incarcerated?)
Jen and I have a little giggle on his behalf.....
Jen: How old are you?
Inmate #1259: 85
Jen and I both: WOW!
Jen: So when did you get out of prison?
Inmate #1259: 2011
Me: That was only 7 years ago!
Inmate #1259: Actually ma’am, it was 7 1/2 years ago.
Jen: (noticed he was wearing a wedding ring) So you are married?
Inmate #1259: Yes. I live in Ohio and I have a wife, a dog, a car and a house.
Jen: So you’re at peace now?
Inmate #1259: I was always at peace. I was good at what I did. When I got caught I served my time. I got a degree in prison. Now that I’m out I’m making more money that ever with this book.
Jen and I were speechless. The first thing I have to admit is that I went into our conversation with a preconceived notion and secondly I was ageist. I think think that he was a criminal that did not physically harm anyone, not that it makes him less criminal, just less of a threat to society. And the age issue. Just because he is 85 doesn’t mean he can’t plan and commit a crime. But it honestly made me respect him for his commitment.
So now on to out actually September 22 day. We woke up, made mimosas and got in our limousine to go on our Napa wine tour. It was so fun. It was the closest thing we could find for Brian to ride on that wasn’t an actual Short Bus. Yes, he is still in immense pain and yes, we are still making fun of him. We head out of San Francisco and the boys dozed on the drive. Losers. Us girls chatted and drank our Mimosas and played music. Stopped at our first winery - James Cole. It was quite chilly but we sat in the sun and enjoyed 1 white and 3 red and bought 4 bottles between us. Really nice vineyard and great wine manager. Our comments:
Jen: I’m excited to taste the next wine (he was a little long winded and was chatting cars with the boys)
Kim: I wish we had more time. I would have loved to talk more to him.
Me: He had great eyelashes.
Second winery: Cliff Verde. To begin with my Visa was declined and then I got a text from Visa that there was suspicious activity on my Visa account. Now Visa - seriously. Seriously. I cannot believe that Paul at the Visa Head Office doesn’t say, "Holy shit Steve! That fucking Stacy Ingham is at a winery in California now, drinking wine?!" Nope. Visa, like my sponsor, is saying, "Um, sorry Stacy. Maybe you should not partake in these libations" Well a quick call to Visa Paul to confirm that I was actually in a winery in California and please pay for my taste testing and all was well. We met our Art, our Wine Steward to guide us through the options at this lovely winery. Once we introduced ourselves and told him we were from Alberta he asked if we knew of Ledcor. Ummm, obviously. Well, Cliff Lede that owns Ledcor is, coincidentally, the owner of the Cliff Lede Winery. So apparently if you know construction you also know wine. Art was fabulous. He had some very important life lessons:
1. There is nothing more useless in this world than a bottle of wine that is not chilled (apparently he is not familiar with Rachel Notley because I think she is far more useless that a bottle of warm champagne!)
2. The metal caps are on top of champagne to stop the mice from chewing the cork and the French put the foil wrapper on a champagne bottle to hide the amount they put in each bottle (fucking French)
He also said he has a degree from the University of Colorado so he is reasonably he attended. He was very witty and had great knowledge that he shared about picking grapes, various areas for different grapes, etc. He also wrote down his favourite wines but unfortunately he penmanship is so awful we cannot read then - which leads me to question the University of Colorado degree.....
Back on the limo and off to our third and final winery. Silver Oaks. After our last two wineries it was disappointing to walk into The Silver Oak’s tasting room and see 200 young pretentious people. Needless to say it was a quick stop (and we were kinda over red at this point and we had white chilling in the car). So back into the limo and heading south for our temporary home - San Francisco. We had an impromptu concert in the car and sang the shit out of every ‘80’s hair metal song we knew. We sang louder and better than Sebastian Bach or Axl Rose ever could have. Poor Alfredo was very grateful for the glass partition separating him and us. Little side note on the limo - those crazy hills in S.F. are not limo friendly- we tagged bottom on the limo creating a hill. 😳
Home and a quick poker game - to be honest, by this time in the evening I cannot remember who won the game.....or what game we played....or who played.....
But we decided as it was our last night we needed to ride a trolley. Yep, we needed to spend $42 to go 5 blocks and have supper at one of the oldest restaurants in S.F. again the name escapes me....Ruebens? Bourbons? Charlie’s? Who knows? I had the best crab cakes - never too liquored to remember the food! Then another $42 for 5 blocks back. Now it was $84 but it was completely worth it. The elevation we climbed is comparable to Base Camp on Everest. I’m assuming when we got home we went to bed......
September 23 - packing up day - I hate these days. This is when I have to answer to my zipper on my suitcase. That zipper is working harder than all of us combined. Ryan is slowly, quietly planning my demise. Every time he lifts my suitcases (there are 2) he looks at me with anger? Frustration? Acceptance? I know I just look away and pretend I’m doing something else. Every stop we acquire more stuff. In Walla Walla we "borrowed" 4 very nice wine glasses from the restaurant and I’ve been carefully stowing those away. Bend we did some shopping, San Fran I bought boots....yes the car is full. So we have to pack all of our stuff down 3 flights of stairs. 3 flights that twist. Death defying. Then we need to load in the same fashion as a pit crew when changing tires in the middle of a race. Ryan parked the Walisser’s car and it was slightly over the white line that indicates the width of the trolley car that passes. Up comes the trolley and the driver yelled obscenities at Kim like I’ve never heard before. Anyway we make it out of the city and are headed north along the coast. Drove through the redwoods and along the pacific coast. Beautiful. Made it as far north as Trinidad. Stayed in a very quaint little inn. There was a crazy lady in the room beside Ryan and I and every time we left the room she would talk to us - I was tempted to fake my own death to get away from her. She asked Brian where we were from and he answered Alberta. She then asked, "How far into Canada is that?" He said. - "Hours". Ordered pizza in and played poker.
September 24 - still pushing north. Stopped in Coos Bay at the casino and played some 3 card poker. Ryan was finally on a winning streak - started with $80and left with $125. Not me - started with $70 and left with my dignity. Made it to Florence and had great rooms right on the beach. Brian could finally have a hot tub - spoiler alert - it didn’t help. Good supper, great waiter then to bed.
September 25 - destination Portland. Was going to be a short day until we stopped for lunch and we waited 2 hours to get our food. And then it was cold. But it was still pretty good. Arrived in Portland, bought some groceries and made it to the rental house. And what a surprise- best house to date. Had some supper, hot tubbed, played cards and sat around the fire. All in all a damn good day.
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