Oh my goodness, what a day! This is most definitely one of our Shit Show days. So we leave Lolo and head west into Idaho (now my LEAST favourite state) along an absolutely breathtaking road and then encounter road work. About 1,000 miles of road work. Now I know, “tis the season” yada, yada, yada but it felt like it went on forever. We lost about an hour there so we need to make up that time (asute readers will recognize some foreshadowing.....) Stopped for a quick roadside visit and a pee and saw a dead baby fawn floating in the river and while I was trying to quickly pee while balancing on a hill and avoid the rest of the group having to see my unmentionables I managed to pee all over my pant leg! God I’m classy. On the road with a wet leg and again making up time. Passed quite a few vehicles and traveling at an average 60-65 miles an hour. Ryan and I were at the back of the pack and we turn onto the interstate (so close to Washington I can taste it!) and we encounter State Tooper Hight. Yes, he was waiting for us. He and his other State Trooper compadre pulled over Ryan and I and asked the mandatory question, “Do you know why we are pulling you over?” Hmmmm officer, if you would allow me a few moments to compile my list of latest infractions I would appreciate it! Did I mention he had a hand on his gun?! There had been a complaint about the driving of 2 mustangs and a Camero. Three things here: firstly, I’m sure there are a trio of sports cars elsewhere in the states traveling at high speeds. Secondly, if we were driving the Mitsubishi this NEVER would have happened. That car was always under the radar - not as flashy as Brutus the Camero. And thirdly, and most importantly, we are on a road trip honouring the late, great Burt Reynolds! What would Burt do in a situation like this (we did not outrun the Smokie....) Unbeknownst to Ryan and I a third state trooper pulled over Darren and Jen a mile or so ahead of us. So while the Troopers are conversing with one another via radio the Trooper with Darren says, “We are going to let you go with a warning and we will ticket the Camero” Wait. What. One more time. The Camero? Brutus? Yes, we got a $90 ticket. One for the team.
So we met for lunch in Lewiston (coincidentally it is Lewiston where Ryan and I can appear in court to fight our ticket) and had lunch and licked our wounds. Had a lunch and a medically necessary beverage and started calling hotels in Walla Walla. 1 hotel - sold out, 2nd hotel - sold out, 5th hotel - sold out, 10th hotel - sold out.....Jen found one on Expedia that had 3 rooms - TAKE IT! Now after we book and our euphoria over getting 3 rooms wears off we look at one another and start to worry about the quality of the rooms that are left in Walla Walla.....
So safely into Washington and there is a large billboard advertising the Powerball - $252 Million!! That is $1.5 Billion in Canadian. So if we win Kim is going to be my Personal Playlist Creator and Fuzz said I would never need to pee on my own leg again - he would do it for me! So here’s hoping......
Into Walla Walla (more fucking road construction!) and we catch a glimpse of the paradise we are spending the night in..... It is obviously awful. There are 2 drunk people in the room below us and I have to do a double take that they are not the same drugged vagrants from Lolo (they weren’t but I think they are from the same clan). There is some unnaturally loud sex going on in the room beside us, and I swear to God I’m not making this up - the guy was clucking like a chicken. There was no animal in the room before your dirty minds go there - just some creepy dude with a girl for hire making clucking noises. I question the human race at times like this. Anyway, moved into the room and Ryan says, “Well that was a great day!” And I said, “GREAT DAY?! I pissed on my own leg, we have the interstate barricaded, ready to drop the spike belt to catch us and we are staying on the fucking Bates Motel?!”
But it was a great day.....one for the books......
No comments:
Post a Comment