Well my friends you are leaving your salty paradise to return to a snowy, cold paradise. I know your time in Motherfucking Belize (I am only referring to it in its Latin name from now on) was wonderful and you somehow fumbled through with out me and my bikini clad, bodacious body but alas, the time has come to return to your Northern home. Up in the high tundra where we experience winter for a solid 9 months, followed by 3 months of wet, unpredictable weather. But the good news is I am here, waiting patiently with blue cheese stuffed olives and cold vodka. I know, these are the sacrifices I make for you, my friends. No, more sunny pictures from your delightful holiday for me to me greeted with every day. No more drunken FaceTime calls to tell me, "how much fun you're having". No more "did you feed the cats" or "how is Carter" or "how are my solar panels" Oh, how I'll miss those calls. Nope - as in the immortal words of Eminem - snap back to reality - oh there goes gravity.
Just to slowly ease you into the bitter, glacial environment you are returning to I am including a couple of photos for you. By the way, I am going to your house Jen and I will be there at midnight when you return. In your hot tub. Waiting.
Fly safe friends!!
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