March 11

So my “friends” are on a tropical-end of winter-extravaganza WITHOUT RYAN AND I! While they are vacationing on their island paradise I received a request.....can I blog about their holiday? Why yes, yes I can! This blog to celebrate day 3 of your holiday is a “Want Ad” - for 4 new friends. 

Searching for 4 new best friends. Must be able to drink a variety of alcohol at any given time of day. Willingness to go on an impromptu road trip at the drop of a hat is a must. There will be a strict weight policy that will not be modified for any reason - minimal weight of 160 is non-negotiable. Readiness to cook a variety of dishes strongly recommended as well as the vocabulary of a sailor. (Although correcting pronunciation expected) Excellent sense of humor and self-effacing ability highly favoured. Ability to care for me when I require it and I too will support your emotional needs - usually through ridicule and mocking. Consideration given to someone who can binge watch any series on Netflix and then repeat verbatim for the next week. Communication guy nice but not essential (hasn’t proven reliable in the past). Tiny person would also be considered- the need to squeeze aforementioned into the trunk of a car has been required. Online shopping/intervention required. Perfect martini making ability also highly favoured. Riverboat, cabin in Golden and endless supply of Crunch n’ Munch expected. If this sounds 

like something you are interested in then I promise to love, humor and support you. Please forward resumes and sample martinis to Stacy Ingham. If you are not contacted directly then thank you for your interest and good luck searching for your new best friends, however Ryan and I have decided to continue our search. 

Or all of this can be avoided if you COME HOME. Also Jen, I’ve decided you need to gain weight. 

Love you guys and have fun.