March 21

Well Carter has been with me for 5 days and I believe I am excelling at my guardianship requirements.

• He got 87% on a math test. I am sure that this is indirectly related to my positive mathematical influence. I am very proud of him. 
• I taught him most of the words to Dream On. Now, I don’t like casting stones but seriously Brian and Kim! It is tantamount to child abuse you not teaching this child the classics. I taught him loud singing is the best. If you are unsure of the words then you sing louder, with conviction and make that shit up. Car karaoke is the best therapy possible.
• Late suppers. Patience makes food taste better.
• Sweet potatoes- the child hasn’t had sweet potatoes. For the love of God what are you doing!
• We have not yet enjoyed martinis - school nights and all..... But we did have Mimosas on Sunday with Cam and My Captain. Cam is a Mimosa pro. Carter is a sophomore but I do have 3 more days.
• Opening wine. He does it without me even asking. It’s like our time together has made him psychic. It is truly amazing.
• We have been watching Planet Earth on Netflix and he tells me when all the spider parts are over so I don’t accidentally witness the killing and consuming of a dragonfly and have to deal with this horrific nightmares for the next week.
• We have been studying geography - I showed him where “Fucking Belize” is. Also, fun fact, he did not know the country’s actual name was Fucking Belize. I explained it came from the Latin name Motherfucking Belize.
• He is beginning paperwork tonight to have himself legally emancipated and join my family. 

  He is actually missing you guys but I think that Martini Thursday may make things a little easier. Well, not Friday at school but, really, how important are Friday’s?