It’s difficult to give an accurate timeline of our trip. Not only have I realized we are incredibly boring but we have not had 1 big party (seriously) nor have we been able to stay awake past 10:00 p.m. (seriously). This is a quick transcript of our dinner conversation:
Brian: this is the best cheese I’ve ever eaten
Jen: Do you think I had measles as a child?
Fuzz: Who watered the plants today.
Me: Is that a spider or a gecko in the corner? I’m not wearing my glasses
Ryan: mmmmm...(not talking just eating)
Kim: Does anyone want to do shots?
Brian: Seriously? Can we buy this cheese at home?
Jen: I have no idea why there is public alerts when there is a measles outbreak - my mom would give me an aspirin and send me outside to play.
Fuzz: So tomorrow we are going to paint the wall.
Me: Ryan, can you see what’s in the corner?
Ryan: mmmmmm (still just eating)
Kim: The pomegranate tequila or the regular tequila?
Brian: I’m taking some of this cheese home.
Jen: I think we were tougher kids.
Fuzz: we will change the oil in the car tomorrow
Me: No, I just saw it move. I think it’s a gecko.
Ryan: (Done eating his supper) Stacy are you going to eat that?
Kim: okay, I’ll do a shot.
The other day the boys went race car driving. They were small go-carts (6 horsepower motors) - us girls had a peaceful pool day, played some dice, had margaritas at the pool and had a nap. Perfect holiday day. Then the boys came home. To say they were excited would be an understatement. If I had Ritalin I would have slipped them some. We heard about every corner of the track, how the helmets fit, that Ryan’s cart had no brakes.....blah, blah, blah. But we decided we were going to give them daily activities- like a kids program at a resort.
The lot beside Darren and Jen’s is bare. Not bare but there is nothing built there. I’m sure it is occupied by 1,000 nasty spiders, a couple snakes, Jen saw a chicken there yesterday, all kids of birds, occasionally some stray dogs and cockroaches (more about that later). When Darren cut fronds off the palm trees or branches from the trees he tosses them over the fence to the No Mans Land and carries on his merry way. Well the other day he must have had a twinge of conscience (I think he Googled “What is a conscience “ after he Googled “How to fight like a Mexican”) anyway.....he started a small fire. Now I have to do a quick break in the story to do a back story. My dad, Rod, God bless his soul, was a known pyromaniac. His modus operandi was fire. We have had the Fish cops knock on our door in the middle of the night telling us they are giving us 2 hours to put out the fire or he is getting a $10,000 fine (I missed class the next day because I was up all night carrying buckets of water). He burned down his neighbors entire corral system when he was just having “a small grass fire”. When dad went for the Gerry can we all immobilized - we knew shit was about to get real. So when Jen and I were sitting, comfortably by the pool and Miguel (the Mexican contractor) yelled from the roof - “Fire” I suffered from immediate PTSD. Darren’s “small fire” had jumped the road and the lot behind the house was on fire. Amazing how quickly holiday mode is shutdown and emergency mode kicks in. I have to be honest- I didn’t help. My fear of creatures is greater than my fear of fire.
I can’t remember if I’ve told you about Jen’s dogs (also, in Mexico she is called Yennifer Yopez - I would buy a house in Mexico too if the Mexicans always called me Jennifer Lopez). Anyway, D&J’s house is right beside the fishing marina. Also beside the fishing marina is 400 stray dogs. Yennifer affectionately calls them “mi amigos”. She still calls them that when she is surrounded by 14 of them while she is equally dividing out food for them. In the evening when we are playing cards and you hear the inevitable dog fight break out Jen stomps back to the dogs and yells, very aggressively- “No, no mis amigos. No fighting”. They obviously do not understand English because the fight continues. I think THEY know how to fight like Mexicans.
The other day we spent the day in Progresso (and got day drunk), met a very lovely lady from Poland that works on a cruise ship, had a beer at Fernando’s bar (the bar that Fuzz and I go to when we need a break). Brian, Kim, Ryan and Jen bought glasses so we spent some time in town - the food is so good. But we got home later and it was dark. I came out on the patio (there was no light on) and I saw this creature crawling around- I knew by the absence of 8 legs that it was not Situation Critical but it was definitely High Alert. I was yelling for someone to come and kill this THING. Jennifer was the hero of the day - out she flew, moved the couch with her super human powers and killed the COCKROACH with her flip flip. This fucker was 2 inches long. Add it to the list of These Are Some Of My Least Favourite Things.
Last story - I love backgammon. The only person who ever plays backgammon with me is my brother, Scott. So when Brian asked if anyone knew how to play backgammon I just nodded with tears in my eyes. So now it’s been backgammon central. I was giving him tips and suggestions in the beginning but then he won a couple so now it’s each man for himself. I also have to pay attention because the little fucker cheats. I was kicking his ass yesterday and there was an “earthquake “ and the board was violently shaken and the game was over. I was assured that there is no earthquakes in the forecast so game on!
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