Oh my god.....biggest spider I’ve ever seen before outside of a zoo or a David Attenborough documentary. This mother fucker carried his own lawn chair to the top deck of the house and when he got there he asked for his own beer. This fucker was so big that is visible from Google Earth. I know that, obviously, there are big spiders in Mexico, but for fuck sakes - when I’m faced with one that I need to shake hands with to greet I am out! He was awful. I did try to burn down the Mexico house but I was denied. Apparently Jen said that this was a good spider but she doesn’t realize that there is no such thing as a “good” spider.
So that’s my whole day...pool....walk.....Mimosa.....pool....laughs....something to eat....laughs....drinks...A HUGE FUCKING SPIDER THAT COULD KILL ANYONE AND I WILL THINK ABOUT EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP!!
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