1. Coin Overload- there are limits to how many coins you can use in 1 transaction. $5 in nickels, $25 in loonies or $40 in toonies. Nothing about dimes or quarters so carry on paying for groceries with them. I think this applies to my poker pot winnings please cash my winnings into bills, preferably $100 bills.
2. No sorcery or enchantment - it is illegal to fraudently pretend to exercise or to use any kind of witchcraft, socery, enchantment or conjugation or to tell fortunes for payment. Now this one confuses me - does this include when I tell someone to go fuck themselves? I sometimes wish people would fuck off. I think I'm walking a fine line on this one.
3. Garage sales - it is illegal to hold more than 2 garage sales a year in Toronto. 2 things I have going for me here - I hate Toronto and I hate garage sales. Should be safe on this one. I am an anti-hoarder, I hate clutter and I'm sure as shit not buying other people's clutter. I also don't like other people trying to wheel and deal with me....or talk to me.
4. No duelling - it is illegal to challenge or be challenged by someone in a duel. This totally applies to Indian Leg Wrestling. I have a few drinks and think my fat legs are good for something (besides looking fabulous of course!) and I can win a wrestling match. Please, if I ever challenge you to a fight, pat my head and say, no little retard, sit down.
5. No fake maple - no faking Canadian maple syrup. Again safe on this one. Although it is difficult to maintain this weight I don't really like maple syrup.
6. Leave the Queen alone - it is prohibited to intentionally alarm or frighten the Queen. I absolutely think that this also applies to Princesses!! I think I need to retain a lawyer for this one! Spiders, throat chopping and Lake Tahoe whoopsies will all be illegal. No being scared on the side by side or river boat. Longs walks sometimes frighten me as do undercooked burgers. Oh my goodness I think I need to start writing this down for my lawyer.
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