1. That I do not have full time parental supervision. Honestly, the fact that I don't have to run some of my decisions past a responsible adult amazes me.
2. That I plant flowers in the summer. I have the attention span of a two month old puppy. By mid-July I'm excited about which plant is going to die first so I can get some off of my deck. (My deck currently looks like an Amazonian rain forest)
3. That I have not identified anyone on Americas Most Wanted. I've watched that show before and sworn I recognized someone from high school.
4. My ability to binge watch a series on Netflix and start talking with an accent. Case in point, I am 3 seasons into Nashville and I'm saying, "Ya'll" and "Gracious". I totally blame my vulgar language on Shameless.
5. Why I'm not a better singer. Ya'll, I try darn hard but gracious me I sound like a cat getting its tail stepped on. (Thank you Nashville) or Jesus Christ I can't carry a tune on a tin fucking can (Thank you Shameless)
6. Vladimir Putin and as sex symbol. He looks like every evil villain in a Bond movie.
7. Why I don't own a vineyard. Cut out the middle man - genius!
8. Why I cannot do a cartwheel. Actually in recent years my gymnastic ability has digressed to the point that getting off the floor without groaning is an achievement.
9. Why popcorn isn't a food group. Why sweet Jesus? Why?
10. Why I cannot do eye make up and look like a super model! Nope I look like a meth addicted hooker. Not a good look.
Just some of the things that keep me up at night. Now off to watch 17 YouTube videos on eye make application and Vladimir memes.....
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