October 27

Okay, things I hate.....in no particular order...

1. Hangovers. Obviously. But the worst part is the remorse. The fact that this horror has been inflicted upon you by you. This masochist pain that sneaks up on you. The worst is when you don’t get a hangover after a night of indulgence- why? I go through the day questioning my very existence. I can have 2 martinis and a bottle of wine and wake up feeling like I could run a marathon (not really but you get my drift) and other days you have 2 small glasses of wine and need to self-medicate with 5 extra strength Tylenol, 4 extra strength Advil AND a T3 - like on October 27, 2017!!!

2. October 27, 2017 for above mentioned reasons.

3. Rebbeca Kolisnek’s hair. How can 1 human being have the best hair ever! It is always cute. Long, short, blonde, red, black. I usually look like I just slept with a pack of dogs and was moderately electrocuted. I try to replicate her cute do’s but I end up looking homeless....and still white. 

4.  My scale. Obviously. I truly believe the fucker is lying to me. So I bought another on. Now I have a new theory - collusion. Fuckers.

5. Not being able to sing like a rock star. I mean I sing like a rock star but the people who hear me have told me I don’t “sound” like s rock star. Apparently, they have bad hearing. Or do after they hear me sing. 

6. Working. I LOVE my job. I think very few people have the passion or love of their job like I do. I truly do enjoy it. But, I truly do enjoy vacationing more. I’m really good at vacationing. Why have I not won the lottery yet?! I would still work but from 11 - 12:30 on Tuesday and Wednesday’s. Thursday I would put in noon to 3 day. Unless the jet was ready to take me to Belize - then Dennis and I would need to work out an adjusted schedule. I always tell him the plant wouldn’t run without me - God forbid he discovered it does! 

7.   Minus twenty degrees or colder. And any sentence with the word “windchill” in it. Obviously.

8. Picking out a headstone for my dad. Shitty. I would however like to acknowledge I have picked out headstones for others. I know this doesn’t say much for me but it is true. Like I’ve picked out 16 or 17 headstones..... I also want to buy the plot beside my dad because if the fuckers over the hill are buried beside him then I need 3 strong people, shovels and a swear of secrecy because we got some work to do.

9. Digging up bodies. I have yet to do it but it I’m only 46 and I have some questionable friends and I’m always up for a road trip and adventure....

10. My alarm clock. My favourite thing to do on a Friday is shut that bloody thing off. Unfortunately the other thing I am discovering about getting older is that my bladder is the boss. So if the alarm clock doesn’t ring then my bladder is reminding me that it is still time to get up, then the dog is up and then it is like negotiating with North Korea to go back to bed and sleep in. I understand it is a first world problem.

That’s it. Only 10 the bugs that bother me. 😉

October 26

So, firstly, I have to apologize. I have been on a blog hangover, both literally and figuratively. The Road Trip is exhausting mentally and physically. 

I recently had a tooth removed (root canal gone bad from years ago - Eminem rappped a song about it) so-no prayers  necessary. But the nurse (is that what she is called?)that helped the dentist rip the tooth from my mouth was singing, “These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things “ from the Sound of Music - haters take a back seat - and it made me think a few of my favourite things:

1. Sound of Music - you fuckers that have something to say - you wait until I’m done singing “16 going on 17” then form an orderly line and I will deal with you 1 at a time.

2. Rain - falling gently while I am going to sleep. Not the “fuck you” hard core rain when we are biking. Not the “fuck you” rain when we are setting up the tent in gale force winds. Not the “fuck you” sideways rain when we are running for the vehicle on a road trip. Gentle going to sleep rain - you are the boss.

3. Ice. Cold. Beer. On. A. Hot. Summer. Day. Preferably when we drop the tail gate on the Trunk Road. 

4. The Trunk Road. You my friend, are awesome. I do think few people know we have been intimately connected for 35 years. I have a love for you that equals no other. I know every curve, dip, Creek, corner and pee spot. Much love.

5. Christmas. Yes, I set up the tree up 5 weeks early but I love that it is a time for family. I love gingerbread, tinsel, eggnog and carols.

6. Camping. Rain, snow, wind or shine. March to November. I love you. My trailer is equivalent to a confessional. Best ever, I love it.

7. Road trips. Whether we drive to California, Banff, Soth Dakota, Nordegg or Tofino - I love road trips. Ryan or the girls - so many laughs. Ryan and the girls is actually my favourite.

8. My kids - Darian, Dekker and Mike. ❤️ Also Mia and Ava - you two are my almost babies! Also Jord, Jess and Cam. And Taneal and Bryn. And Keanna and Gracie. And Ryanna and Jenae. And all the other kids I have also loved and threatened to cook....,

9. Red wine. You sexy bitch. Snuck up on me and made me love you. Merlot, Malbec, Pinot, Cab Sav, Blend. You tricky bitches.

10. Ryan - my love. Jen - my girl love. Brian - my brother/sister, boy best friend love. Darren - I hate you but not really love. Kim -  my help finish raising me love.

Tomorrow will be my top 10 Things I Hate. Can I please, please name names??? 

October 2

I know everyone read my ridiculous blogs when we were on our vacation but after the absolutely senseless shootings in Vegas and the injuries in Edmonton I have to share my heartache.

I don’t care about your opinion on immigration or gun control (nor will I share mine) this is heartbreaking. I’ve been to many concerts and hockey games (never a football game) and the intention is always to have a good time. Strangers sitting beside you will sing or cheer right along with you. It’s part of the joy of attending. 

I am so sad that this was taken from these people. I cannot comprehend an ideology and/or mental illness that would justify intentionally injuring strangers. Why? 

Please do not stop celebrating life. It’s too short and precious not to. Love your family and friends and carry on. Pray for the family and friends (or if not prayer) then best wishes and sympathy, for the people who were injured or lost their lives. 

Love you Edmonton and Las Vegas. 💜💜💜💜

Then End of September

So September 30, October 1 and 2 went by so quickly. And just like that our Planes, Trains, Trams and Automobile Road Trip 2017 is over. Almost 7,000 kilometres, about a billion calories, 21 tanks of fuel, 8 states, no speeding tickets, 1 flat tire, a lost iPod, 1,000 laughs and a million memories. We really make our own fun.

So glad to be home to my puppies (and so, so glad to have Lola home 💜💜💜 thanks to everyone that looked for her). I will not miss packing and unpacking - and for the love of God someone remind me next year not to pack so much! 

Also thank you to everyone that kept our families, homes and puppies taken care of while we were off being irresponsible. And last of all thanks to everyone who read the blogs, they make us laugh so I hope they make you laugh as well! (Or roll your eyes, or cringe or thank god you're not within a 10 mile radius!) - pretty cool, we had 100's of views daily and countless shares!

Lastly, we have traveled so far, met wonderful people, seen incredible sites but like Dorothy said, "There's no place like home" But I will be sad tomorrow morning that all 6 of us aren't together for coffee! 

September 29

Okay, firstly, Happy Anniversary to my mom and dad. 46 years....we'll sort of. Love you mom 😘😘😘

Today was a really slow day so I'm going to make so shit up. Well except this.....

                            

Yep, I can't make that up. That is Fuzz wearing Jen's pyjama bottoms. He also requested a gender neutral bathroom so I'm not sure what that's all about. He is getting sick. This was him at the beginning of the holiday and the end: 

   

                               

I think we've been hard on him. I, personally think he doesn't have enough body fat.

We did have a great lunch - do you see a pattern forming? We love our meals. Anyway stopped for a lunch and one of the drinks was a "Small Town Dirty Girl". Brian pointed out another waitress and asked if she was the dirty, small town girl? I'm not sure how it was received.....

Anyway, quiet night, but the countdown is on to our trip home....

September 28

So.... this happened today....

              .j     

Yep, almost had to put a mustang down. Broken leg. Left Rexburg at a healthy pace when Brian radioed that he had a low tire. By the time we got stopped it was flat. Farren Williams - we joked that we just needed to wait a few minutes for you to show up (Farren has a crazy 6th sense that kicks in when someone is broken down or stuck in the bush). But alas, no Farren. So 2 1/2 hours later the tow truck driver showed up. 

Now I'm never one to leave a man in the field - especially Brian (you too Kim) but seriously- next stop is Lolo. Lolo is in my top 10 favourite places. We had a guilty conscience for 12, maybe 14 miles. Just kidding, we really struggled with leaving them. I wanted to take one of their shoes to ensure they would follow (little side story - when we are sitting around the fire when we are camping and someone has to go mix a drink or have a pee I used to make them leave a shoe to ensure they would come back. I have since discovered that if someone is sneaking off to bed they are more than happy to give me a shoe and go to bed with one shoe. Apparently sleeping does not require two shoes!) 

Anyway I knew that Brian's LOLO FOMO (fear of missing out in Lolo) would kick in and he would buy a new car if need be. Kim said their tow truck driver, who would like to remain nameless and have his home town also not be named because of his fear of Mormon persecution (gotta love that religion is so welcoming and forgiving 🙄) he kept Kim very entertained. He is very pro-Trump and anti-Mormon. His direct quote was, "The Mormons will brainwash your kids so you better do it first." Now, that is good advise regardless of who influences your children. I did this with my children. They grew up okay - that might be a relative statement. 

We stopped for lunch without the Walisser's 😞 but as you can tell by the photo, they were there in spirit. Also there was the actual rules for the classroom in 1916. 

                            

                            

We tried to count how many lashes we would get but the math became too difficult.

Anyway, finally made it to Lolo at 8:00. Checked in (had to ensure she remembered us - she did. Enough so that she moved everyone away from us), Had a martini (naturally, it is Thursday), had a hot tub (made a new friend - Oregon) and then headed to the bar to hopefully see Jesus again (we almost feel like we are regulars) and....THE BAR WAS CLOSED!! The waitress was moping the floor, the chairs were all up on the tables. I had a panic attack. Jen and I had our faces pressed against the glass, tears rolling down our faces. The cook was outside having a smoke and he said he would ask her if she would let us in. We waited, and waited and 15 long minutes later an angel opened the door and said she would serve us ONE drink.....

Two and a half hours later and Brian and Kim showed up and we were on our 6th double and had Oregon and Chicken Lady (the lady that checked us in but when you're drunk "Check in Lady" becomes "Chicken Lady") and both waitresses drinking shots with us. Both ladies came back to our room (sounds much more provocative then it was) and played poker. Kim and I shut it down about 4:00 am. Little tired today. 

Wanda and Vanessa you were really great thank you. And Wanda, thank you for remembering us from 2014 and 2016 and I'm sure you'll remember 2017! 😘

September 27

Checked into the hotel and we were told that Happy Hour was from 5:30 until 7:00. Happy Hour in Wyoming means free! Set the tone for the evening so the morning of the 27th was a little slow.....

Peter and Brenda O'Toole are doing their own road trip of more western states and are now on their way home and met us in Rock Springs. I'm sure they are regretting their decision to follow us home. We 6 are pretty hard to keep up with (literally and figuratively!)

Stopped and did some shopping in some town that I honestly don't remember the name of. Then had a great pub lunch and had the best corn chicken chowder. It had crispy bacon in it. I would sell my soul to the devil for a big bowl of it with a side of blue cheese fries. 

Anyway on to Jackson. Such a great drive. I wish I had a dollar for every time Ryan passed a vehicle (or 10 at once - true story) and the speedometer was over 100 MILES AN HOUR. Hasn't really scared me yet, but I have had to remind him a time or two that there is no checkered flag at the end of the road trip. 

Made it to Jackson and what a cool little town. Went for a beer at The Million Dollar Bar - we asked for the history. The bar was built in 1912 and burnt down n 1972. When they rebuilt it .......it cost a million dollars to rebuild. I was very disappointed. I was waiting for - they found a million dollars in gold under the floorboards or an old timer sruck it rich and built he bar. Nope, just a million to rebuild it ( sounds like a bad contractor that mismanaged the build but I didn't say that - just kept drinking my $14 beer). Actually, I think that's why it's the Million Dollar Bar - they make a million a month charging their exorbitant prices! 

Had a great supper and honestly went to bed. I know boring. It's hard keeping up my lifestyle and weight. Sometimes you need to choose....

Also hung out with these sexy beasts....