1. Hangovers. Obviously. But the worst part is the remorse. The fact that this horror has been inflicted upon you by you. This masochist pain that sneaks up on you. The worst is when you don’t get a hangover after a night of indulgence- why? I go through the day questioning my very existence. I can have 2 martinis and a bottle of wine and wake up feeling like I could run a marathon (not really but you get my drift) and other days you have 2 small glasses of wine and need to self-medicate with 5 extra strength Tylenol, 4 extra strength Advil AND a T3 - like on October 27, 2017!!!
2. October 27, 2017 for above mentioned reasons.
3. Rebbeca Kolisnek’s hair. How can 1 human being have the best hair ever! It is always cute. Long, short, blonde, red, black. I usually look like I just slept with a pack of dogs and was moderately electrocuted. I try to replicate her cute do’s but I end up looking homeless....and still white.
4. My scale. Obviously. I truly believe the fucker is lying to me. So I bought another on. Now I have a new theory - collusion. Fuckers.
5. Not being able to sing like a rock star. I mean I sing like a rock star but the people who hear me have told me I don’t “sound” like s rock star. Apparently, they have bad hearing. Or do after they hear me sing.
6. Working. I LOVE my job. I think very few people have the passion or love of their job like I do. I truly do enjoy it. But, I truly do enjoy vacationing more. I’m really good at vacationing. Why have I not won the lottery yet?! I would still work but from 11 - 12:30 on Tuesday and Wednesday’s. Thursday I would put in noon to 3 day. Unless the jet was ready to take me to Belize - then Dennis and I would need to work out an adjusted schedule. I always tell him the plant wouldn’t run without me - God forbid he discovered it does!
7. Minus twenty degrees or colder. And any sentence with the word “windchill” in it. Obviously.
8. Picking out a headstone for my dad. Shitty. I would however like to acknowledge I have picked out headstones for others. I know this doesn’t say much for me but it is true. Like I’ve picked out 16 or 17 headstones..... I also want to buy the plot beside my dad because if the fuckers over the hill are buried beside him then I need 3 strong people, shovels and a swear of secrecy because we got some work to do.
9. Digging up bodies. I have yet to do it but it I’m only 46 and I have some questionable friends and I’m always up for a road trip and adventure....
10. My alarm clock. My favourite thing to do on a Friday is shut that bloody thing off. Unfortunately the other thing I am discovering about getting older is that my bladder is the boss. So if the alarm clock doesn’t ring then my bladder is reminding me that it is still time to get up, then the dog is up and then it is like negotiating with North Korea to go back to bed and sleep in. I understand it is a first world problem.
That’s it. Only 10 the bugs that bother me. 😉
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