Still September 22

Dear Momsie,

I cried today. 16 times. Once because Ryan was scaring me driving. Once because I didn’t have beer. 14 times because Roy hugged me. Roy is my dad’s best friend and I love him (dad and Roy) and it was such a moment for me. When I paid the bill even the waitress asked if I was okay. And I said no. No, I don’t cry. I don’t have those emotions. Only with Roy. Fuck me, he makes me cry. And then cried when Jen broke a bottle of wine. She said she didn’t break it, it “fell” out of the fridge. But that fucker shattered. 22 minute mop/vacuum job and it was cleaned. 

We did visit a castle today. The boys dropped us off at the door and went to park (there was a 86 minute detour while I was giving directions and I swear to God, i wish I could give a google map view of our route because it was spastic) but we got there. When we got there this lovely lady (like a REAL lady, like you would never say fuck in front of her. Like, she suggested that we go to the Tea Room and Jen and I smiled and said, “That sounds lovely”). Anyway when Jen and I were dropped off, the lady said we missed the tour and we could catch the 3:15 tour I looked at her and was about to say, “ I’m sorry, that’s far too late for us” but Jen said, “That’s only 20 minutes, we will do it”. My jaw dropped. I thought it was, at best, 1:00. At. Best. At. Fucking. Best. Holy shit, I went through a time warp. I had a serious conversation with my travel mates to say - Get. Your. Shit. Together. We cannot waste any mornings away (Fuzz didn’t get up until 11:00). Our time is scheduled to the minute. To. The. Fucking. Minute. I already had a talk about tomorrow. Stay tuned to tomorrow’s schedule and be prepared to be amazed. Anyway, castle. Fyvie Castle. It got a 10/10 from Fuzz. He loved it. He was excited that he could walk through every door without ducking. But this castle has a dark history. This fucker (Catholic) couldn’t divorce his wife, who gave him 5 beautiful daughters but no son. So he “fell in love” with his wife’s niece. So he locked her in a turret and starved her to death. (Fuzz said he locked her up because she cried to much). That Catholic fucker couldn’t divorce her so he starved her to death in the same house as her daughters. I want to have séance and talk to him, fucker. 

We also chatted and, as we are 7 hours ahead of Rocky, we can see the future. So if anyone wants to know the 7 49 numbers, for a percentage, we will tell you the numbers. 

Anyway,  Momsie, stayed tuned. 2 castles tomorrow.