April 17

I’m writing this blog for the second time 🙄. For some reason the first time it did not publish and I became bitter and angry. But I’m back baby for a whole new April 17! I am a little behind but I will get caught up today (April 21).

So we planned to leave Stonehaven early.....we ended up leaving at 11:30, so we need to practice departures. On our road trips we are a well oiled machine - we can be up and gone on 20 minutes and leave no trace. Like ninja warriors.....Fat, middle aged, near sighted, bad tempered ninjas - the fiercest of all the ninjas. Another difference we also are squeezing 5 adults and 270 pounds of luggage into a Skoda, not 2 into the Camaro. Anyway, we are off to Tomintoul.....

My wonderful friend Kim is a speech pathologist and cringes when we mispronounce any word, Kim, you need to mentally prepare yourself for our future visit. Just because it is spelt Tomintoul does not mean it’s pronounced that way. It’s pronounced Tam-in-towel. Everything we say sounds harsh - I’ve never felt (or sounded) so American. We are butchering these wonderful names. 

Darian was not feeling well, a combination of the windy roads, rich food and alcohol- so Dekker gave her 2 Dimenhydrinate, which he promised would not make her sleepy. Fail. She was a zombie. We stopped at Crathes Castle for a tour and Darian was in an alternate universe. We got to legitimately use the handicap parking spot. I’m so glad we brought her caregiver Michael.

 Crathes was beautiful, we are a little early to appreciate the beauty of the gardens but the castle did not disappoint. On each floor of the castle there is a person to explain the history of the room, artifacts in the room or stories of the lairds and ladies through the centuries. Very informative and answered all of our questions. On the fourth floor we met the lovely Bertha Forbes (pronounced Forbis) who was 118 years old and 4’3”. She was so friendly and eplained all of the coats of arms and various books around the the room. I loved Birdie (my new name for her) and I wanted to take her with us to pronounce words properly and explain different parts of the Highlands and rub my feet. Alas, Scotland too frowns upon kidnaping. 

We told Bertha that Mike is a Gordon......silence........awkward silence......... Bertha slowly turned to Mike and raised her fists. Apparently Forbes and Gordon’s are historic enemies. Michael apologized for all the wrongs committed against the Forbes on behalf of the Gordon’s but I think The Little B (my new, new name for her) questioned his sincerity because she pulled out a binder of newspaper clippings and other documentation about the Forbes/Gordon history. Who knew we stumbled upon the Scottish Hatfield’s and McCoy’s? Little Bertha has a lot of pent up anger and has been preparing for a Gordon meeting for the last 118 years. Unfortunately Mike left his binder - “The Shitty Things Forbes Did to Gordon’s” at home so he was ill prepared for the battle. We left/were escorted out of the castle but Mike vows to return and raze the castle (I am claiming rights to the future book). 

Just a quick history lesson: the Gordon’s supported Mary Queen of Scots (catholic) and Forbes supported her son James VI  (Protestant). There was a long-running feud between the Forbes and Gordon families which culminated with two full scale battles - first The Battle of Tillieangus and then The Battle of Craibstone. The 6th Lord Forbes’s youngest son known as Black Aurther Forbes was killed at the Battle of Tillieangus. Legend has it that “he stooped down to quench his thirst and one of the Gordons gave him his death blow through an open joint in his armour“.

Now on to our new house on the Delnabo (I know how you are pronouncing it and you’re wrong) Estate. We have rented the gamekeepers house and it is so cute. A very rural location so we’re right at home. There are lots of bunnies, pheasants, ducks, chickens and grouse that wander through the yard. We have named our resident hen Beatrice. She is quite stunning - as chickens go. 

The Delnabo cottage is very quaint and everything you would expect a Highland cottage to be. Looking forward to our visit. 

April 16

Things we learned today:

Darian: The peace sign backwards is equivalent to the middle finger 🖕🏼She thought she was being friendly....

Stacy: Don’t try to only have one drink with Sher.

Michael: I would recommend jumping in the North Sea everyday to everyone.

Ryan: Don’t keep the house keys from Stacy.

Dekker: Doesn’t matter where you go you’ll always find a friend.

Joe: Don’t bet Mike £20 that he won’t jump in the North Sea.

By the way, Joe is our new Scottish friend who followed us home from the bar and could possibly be accompanying us for the remainder of our journey. He called Dekker “Jesus” then asked him to order 5 glasses of water and turn them into wine. 

We had a wonderful day with Roy and Sher. What a day. We watched old home movies from 1985. Classic. Then more from 1991 and it was wonderful to see dad in the movies but it did make me cry. It’s funny to see him younger than I am now. Roy was unrelentless with that video camera and it was brilliant. So happy to share those again. Roy and Sher were wonderful hosts, I thought we might never leave! ❤️❤️❤️

April 15

Well we have acclimated, finally! Well speaking for myself....I went to bed at 1:00 a.m. and I found out the next morning that Darian, Mike and Dekker went chasing sheep and swimming in the North Sea after I went to bed! WTF, like I didn’t want to go?! Actually, I am very glad because I saw how much sheep shit is on Darian’s shoes - I made a better decision. So, up at a respectable 8:30 and had coffee, crib and breakfast. 

Then on to Dunnottar. In Darian’s words, “That castle demands respect” probably the best description I’ve ever heard of that castle. It never gets old - actually it is 900 years old but I never get tired of seeing it. And the kids were dutiable impressed. You have to see it to believe it. 

Then we went for lunch and I swear to God, we had to fight off a seagull for our food. I. Shit. You. Not. This fucker would swoop down at you while you were eating and nothing but a taser would slow that fucker down. He did this call and all his friends would join him and create a united front to storm our table. Military strategy and  tactics to conduct warfare to acquire French fries. Even the waitresses would scan the roof when the ran out to deliver meals. It was terrifying. Having said all that, that fucking seagull saw the size of me and knew not to try any shit with me - my dessert would have been sautéed seagull with a scoop of ice cream. 

So we went to Pam and Mike’s for a visit with everyone. I cannot begin to tell everyone how amazing it is to walk back into this family after 30 years and, honestly not miss a beat. It is a tribute to the bond that Mike/Pam/ Sher/Roy/Mary/Rod shared that this truly is our Scottish family. What incredible people. Their children and grandchildren are aces. Ryan shook Dekkie’s hands and said, “The last time we met you had hair.” And Dekkie didn’t miss a beat when he replied, “Ya mate, last time we met you were 6 stone”. It was fucking hilarious. It was a family reunion in every sense of the word. Nics made us supper reservations and then we went for a visit with her and Tony and their family in their lovely home. Scottish hospitality at its best. Tony is hilarious and he was such a gentleman, he spoke slow so we could understand him. Well, not Darian. He could have written it down and she wouldn’t have understood. 

April 14....... Again.....

So it’s my birthday but you know how some people say, “Ya, I’m 32 again”? Well I’m going to say it’s my 59th birthday because then people will say, “Damn, you look fine for 59!!” Instead of, “You are a rough 32”. So it’s my 59th birthday- Happy Birthday to me! And an absolute sincere thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, I felt the love and had a very large giggle over Callie Beamish and Rebecca Kolisnek pictures. Those were both stellar parties that I am proud to be a part of!! Bring me Sharpies and penguins!!

So you know the 68 hour day we experienced yesterday .... Darian and I were up until 5:00 am and drank 3 more bottles of wine but swore we would be up at 9:00 am.....so......we woke up at noon....... Damn😳 Ryan and Mike made breakfast and Dekker made Mimosas. Great morning but it was followed by the the absolute best afternoon. Pam, Mike, Roy and Sher came over for a visit and it was unbelievable. I love them so much, it was the best. I cried so much, my heart was full. (On a side note - While I wrote this and am crying and Micheal said in a Scottish accent, “Stacy! Build a bridge.....and get over it!!!) We honestly laughed until we cried, we talked so much about Dad and he would have loved it. There was nothing he loved more than being the centre of attention, and he was. Cheers to you dad, you were a King among men. ❤️

We are going over tomorrow to visit and I’m not sure I’ll sleep I’m so excited. Being 59 is great!! 

We went for supper at a pub and, again, it was amazing. The we walked down to the harbour and had a pint and Darian, Michael and Dekker are amazed at the relaxed alcohol rules. It is such a warm, friendly country. We are having such a great time. Tomorrow morning - the beginning of our many castle tours.....

April 14

Time means nothing anymore. It’s like The Matrix. I do not know if it’s Thursday, Friday, 10:00 or 5:00, a.m. or p.m. 

Quick update on our trip since we left Calgary in 2011(apparently I’m unsure of the year as well). We got on the most comfortable, spacious airplane I have ridden on. Just kidding, it was so tight that I had to talk myself down from a claustrophobic anxiety attack. We sat 4 abreast and my feet swelled to the point they could have exploded. Not pretty. Darian (as I mentioned she is awful flyer) was going to not take pills, ya that happened until we reached an altitude of 150 feet and she starts chewing Adavan like they were Bottle Caps. 2 Ativan, 1 Melatonin and 3 bottles of red wine and suddenly she is Elon Musk. She was high giving people high fives when we were experiencing turbulence. It was like the best road trip she’s ever been on. We are calling her Atavarian. When you talk to her one eye wouldn’t open but that was a small sacrifice we all were willing to accept to not have her screaming hysterically during the entire flight. 

Short stop over in Amsterdam (which, honestly, takes People Watching to a whole new level) and back onto a plane to Aberdeen. It is testament to the level of medication/alcohol Darian was on that she thought it was hilarious when we had to abort our landing and try again. But I have to give a shout out to the 25 hairs that were 4 inches long that were growing out of the Asian’s face mole that was sitting beside us in Amsterdam. I’m totally going to relax about plucking. I’m sure it a cultural thing so when I do my Ancestry DNA I’m going to be 5% Asian (my drinking eyes have foretold this genetic connection). 

Anyway, landed in Aberdeen and I’m so excited to see Dekker (and in my world he is as excited as I am) and then we land and.....no Dekker...... The little fucker is touring in Aberdeen and we have to wait for him. While we wait for him we got the vehicle we rented. I had nightmares about the vehicle we are getting - visions of us packed into a Prius with the luggage on a roof rack - but we have Skoda (I believe Skoda Kodiaq means Colassal Chariot) and we can all fit with our luggage far more comfortably than KLM. But that is only the first part of the journey - now Ryan has to drive through Aberdeen - with other vehicles- and multiple traffic circles. I think that bungee jumping is less of a adrenaline rush. 

We are in our flat in Stonehaven and it is wonderful. We are across from a field full of sheep. We wanted Darian to go Mutton Busting. I think it still may be an option, she is going to pet one, it will try to run away from her and she will chase that fucker down. 

We went for a fabulous lunch (okay in the spirit of honesty - I had no idea of what meal we were eating - it was Dekker’s breakfast and I thought it was supper) and Ryan and Darian were both falling asleep during the meal. But to be fair we had been up for 26 hours, so we came back and Ryan crashed. Then we let Mike drive when we drove for groceries and he is awesome. He did so well! Came back and we lost another soldier - Darian crashed. Mike, Dekker and I stayed up and had some drinks.......until I crashed.......at 5:00......P.M.!! So Ryan and I woke up and I was so happy to realize it was 5:30 a.m. except it wasn’t. IT WAS 10:00 ON A FRIDAY NIGHT!! So we all got up and met Dekker at the pub at 11:00 pm and had drinks. So now it’s 2:30 in the morning on Tuesday, September 24, 2015. Right?

April 12

Sitting in the airport in Calgary and I had an epiphany - I hate flying. It’s like when I’m going up a chair lift to go skiing - I always remember at that point that I hate skiing. We went through security (we passed!) and a pilot butted in line ahead of us filled with self-importance and arrogance that only a pilot or a bouncer at the Rose and Crown in Banff possess. He was very indigent that he had to:

• Go through security and have his bags checked -again!
• He bags were split up to go through the X-ray machine
• The security lady would not take his information until she finished with us
• When he was through he had to talk to the manager about the way he was treated 

The manager never looked up from her phone while she consoled him with a sincere, “that’s unfortunate”. I wanted to high five her. I would have suggested to him that he should just relax and treat people with a little more respect. Naw, just kidding, I would have called him a pretentious dick but I was afraid he was our pilot and I know pilots possess the power to deny me my ride. I’m not sure if I can Uber a flight. Jen has a sad tale about being denied a flight home from Vegas. Vegas loved her so much that it wanted to keep her as one of their own. 

We have not boarded yet and all I am doing is scanning the waiting area for kids. So far so good. But I think I may be bringing the problem child on the plane. Darian. She is ridiculous about flying. I told her that her life was in far more danger driving with Ryan to the airport that the actual flight. I have medicated her with a Caesar and 2 beer. I am prepared to put her in a half Nelson to calm her. I had booked her and Mike away from us so I could hear her hysteria but KLM kindly rearranged us (those fuckers) so now I can’t complain to anyone about the crazy woman back in row 16. 

Okay, I don’t understand time changes so I will be blogging at various times. 

April 10

So....I’m going back to Scotland. But there is an entirely new chapter to this story but first I must preface it with a quick history.

My family moved to Scotland when I was in Grade 5. Dad was working in the North Sea on the Piper Alpha and we lived in Portlethen - south of Aberdeen 12 miles (ish). We met the most wonderful, life long friends (Roy and Sher and family and Pam and Mike and family). Fast forward 30 years and I have the honour and privilege of taking my family back home with me to visit and meet everyone. ❤️

Dekker is on his quest to circle the world (a.k.a. Hide from his mother!) and Ryan and I thought it was an incredible opportunity for us for visit him with Michael and Darian (for those of you who do not know Mike he is the child I wish I had born and raised. Such a wonderful human being - to know him is to love him). So for Christmas Darian and Mike got plane tickets to Scotland and Dekker got a Go Pro (to chronicle his escape from his maternal duties). 

I have to quickly recap. We lived in Scotland from 1982 - 1986 and then mom and dad moved back in1989. I would later laugh - when I graduated high school in 1989 my mom and dad left the country to ensure I would vacate the nest and then they moved to Mexico when Scott turned 18 to ensure he too left. 

Anyway, we are off this week and I can honestly say I’m not sure what I’m more excited to see - Scotland, our friends or Dekker. 

I had to include a photo of Grandma Jean. I’m going to dedicate an entire blog to this woman, who probably loved me more than any human being ever has or ever will, and I her. After mom and dad moved back to Scotland and I was slightly adrift, she bought me a ticket to Scotland to see mom and dad. I, literally, showed up on their doorstep - unannounced. It was glorious. 

It will also be bittersweet seeing Scotland after dad is gone. I think even Scotland will lose some of its luster without dad to share my stories with. 

I promise to share this chapter with far more laughter than this blog. I’m not sure if it is the Humboldt loss or the memory of Grandma and Dad that is making me heart sore. I think I am taking a moment to reflect on all I have had and all I have and my heart swells with love and gratitude.