I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - talk about a child being forced to question his mothers integrity and morals. He may be witnessing his mother having an affair with...of all people...Santa Claus! Oh the humanity! This is a child that is going to need considerable therapy in the future.
Baby it’s Cold Outside - this poor woman is being held against her will with this guy that will just not take no for an answer. He may even be slipping a roofie in her drink. She is doing all she can do to convince her captor release her. Come to think of it, this could be the boy who saw mommy kissing Santa Claus who grew into a man with serious relationship issues.
I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas- you know your child is spoilt when he asks for a hippopotamus for Christmas and only a hippopotamus will do. I am all for encouraging a vibrant imagination but I am getting the impression this child is on the demanding side of normal. If my child ever asked for a hippopotamus we would sit down and have a serious conversation about how life is going to disappoint him in innumerable ways if he expects large African animals are going to live in our basement. Dekker and I actually had this conversation when he sang, “I want a snake for Christmas and only a snake will do”. I actually believe my response was, “Not a fucking chance”.
Santa Claus is Coming To Town - He knows when you’re sleeping and he knows when you’re awake. You better be good for goodness sake....why?! Because this creepy old bastard is watching you that’s why!
I do love Christmas carols - even the sick, twisted ones. Tomorrow my blog is going to be about Mary, and the improbability of a “virgin” having a child.....
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