August 7

I recently had some comments regarding the colourful language that I use on my blogs – this is the one and only disclaimer I will EVER give – please read no further if you are easily offended because I easily offend. I make no apologies for my vibrant language, it is what it is. My only apologies are for my lack of blogs, poor spelling or misused words and repetitive stories (I only have a limited repertoire to pick from and I’m possibly on the verge of dementia) so – only the brave should go forward…..

We spent the long weekend in Golden. Magical, heavenly Golden. It is Disneyland for adults – except when Darren is there and he is up at the crack of fucking dawn banging around disrupting my beauty sleep (complete side note – I recently had Janan shave most of my hair – I have no idea why – I think that I may have been in the middle of a stroke and was unable to make a solid decision. I blame 3 people:

1.       the beautiful girl that was at Country Thunder last year – she pulled off the hairdo with style

2.       Rebecca Kolisnek – possibly has the best hair on the entire planet. Her hair-dos are epic

3.       Pink – because. Just because. Side Side note: Who the fuck has ever "thrown a fist full of glitter in the air" You would look like a lunatic. Not to mention there is NO WAY you wouldn't get glitter in your eyes.

Anyway, I am stuck with a hairdo that, unfortunately, makes me look like Boo from Orange is the New Black. Not a look that I had in mind. I have my Grandma Jean’s fluffy hair and my Grandma Smith’s grey and my bad hairstyle decisions – honestly it is recipe for disaster!)

Back to my absolute NEED for beauty sleep. Darren is awake exacting his revenge on every terrible thing I’ve ever said about him (I say A LOT of terrible things about him!) and he is doing it with unbridled glory!  So I suffered the entire weekend with lack of beauty sleep and a simmering need to put Darren in a headlock - which I successfully fought off all weekend. But on a humble note: thank you Darren for backing up the enclosed trailer....repeatedly...I think I can get a Disability sticker because I back that bloody trailer up so badly. I would like to think that I have above average intelligence (using Einstein and Meth-heads as either end of my comparison spectrum) but the skill to back up a trailer eludes me. And I would also like to publicly acknowledge that you were right and I was wrong - Peyto Lake is north of Bow Lake. And it was actually physically painful for me to admit that!

I have to back up to our trip to Golden – Jordyn, My Captain, was my co-pilot on our drive. I LOVE the drive. We had an unbelievable drive that was impressive in that there was NO TRAFFIC…..well, until we hit the TransCanada and then God decided he hated us. The traffic was at a standstill. C.O.M.P.L.E.T.E. S.T.A.N.D.S.T.I.L.L. I take the entire blame. I was being cocky about the lack of foreigners and rented RV’s on the road (Also side note: people who rent RV’s should be have to pass a driver’s test. A serious test. And have an eye exam. When I see a rented RV I shudder and prepare myself for the worst driving humanly possible – should not joke too much about this in light of the recent events at Morley…) Our drive took a sluggish turn…and I should also mention that we had no music….. and only talk radio…..it was almost the definition of hell. The only thing we were missing was that neither of us had to pee – God had slight compassion for our situation. So after an outstanding 5 hour drive to Golden I learned that Jord hates talk radio as much as I do and we can sing a lot of songs without listening to them.

Went side by siding with  Leah, MacKenzie, Murphy, Jord, Darian, Mike, Jen and Darren and even going on the same trails the beauty is breathtaking. Really was a couple of stellar days. Definitely missed Ryan and the Walisser’s though.

Anyway, a weekend in Golden reminds me of my lack of superhuman strength – staying up until 4:00 a.m. is not conducive to a productive day the next day, Jennifer is SOMETIMES right when she suggests an earlier bed time, 1:00 a.m. is not a good time to hot tub, singing loudly to scare bears away can bother a sleeping Darren…my list is long.

It’s never long enough when we are there. Fucking Long weekends that are not long enough! Good news though – I think my hair has grown 1/16 of an inch over the weekend…….