I recently had some comments regarding the colourful
language that I use on my blogs – this is the one and only disclaimer I will
EVER give – please read no further if you are easily offended because I easily
offend. I make no apologies for my vibrant language, it is what it is. My only
apologies are for my lack of blogs, poor spelling or misused words and repetitive
stories (I only have a limited repertoire to pick from and I’m possibly on the
verge of dementia) so – only the brave should go forward…..
We spent the long weekend in Golden. Magical, heavenly
Golden. It is Disneyland for adults – except when Darren is there and he is up
at the crack of fucking dawn banging around disrupting my beauty sleep
(complete side note – I recently had Janan shave most of my hair – I have no
idea why – I think that I may have been in the middle of a stroke and was
unable to make a solid decision. I blame 3 people:
1.
the beautiful girl that was at Country Thunder
last year – she pulled off the hairdo with style
2.
Rebecca Kolisnek – possibly has the best hair on
the entire planet. Her hair-dos are epic
3.
Pink – because. Just because. Side Side note: Who the fuck has ever "thrown a fist full of glitter in the air" You would look like a lunatic. Not to mention there is NO WAY you wouldn't get glitter in your eyes.
Anyway, I am stuck with a hairdo that, unfortunately, makes
me look like Boo from Orange is the New Black. Not a look that I had in mind. I
have my Grandma Jean’s fluffy hair and my Grandma Smith’s grey and my bad
hairstyle decisions – honestly it is recipe for disaster!)
Back to my absolute NEED for beauty sleep. Darren is
awake exacting his revenge on every terrible thing I’ve ever said about him (I
say A LOT of terrible things about him!) and he is doing it with unbridled
glory! So I suffered the entire weekend with lack of beauty sleep and a simmering need to put Darren in a headlock - which I successfully fought off all weekend. But on a humble note: thank you Darren for backing up the enclosed trailer....repeatedly...I think I can get a Disability sticker because I back that bloody trailer up so badly. I would like to think that I have above average intelligence (using Einstein and Meth-heads as either end of my comparison spectrum) but the skill to back up a trailer eludes me. And I would also like to publicly acknowledge that you were right and I was wrong - Peyto Lake is north of Bow Lake. And it was actually physically painful for me to admit that!
I have to back up to our trip to Golden – Jordyn, My Captain,
was my co-pilot on our drive. I LOVE the drive. We had an unbelievable drive
that was impressive in that there was NO TRAFFIC…..well, until we hit the
TransCanada and then God decided he hated us. The traffic was at a standstill.
C.O.M.P.L.E.T.E. S.T.A.N.D.S.T.I.L.L. I take the entire blame. I was being
cocky about the lack of foreigners and rented RV’s on the road (Also side note:
people who rent RV’s should be have to pass a driver’s test. A serious test.
And have an eye exam. When I see a rented RV I shudder and prepare myself for
the worst driving humanly possible – should not joke too much about this in
light of the recent events at Morley…) Our drive took a sluggish turn…and I
should also mention that we had no music….. and only talk radio…..it was almost
the definition of hell. The only thing we were missing was that neither of us
had to pee – God had slight compassion for our situation. So after an
outstanding 5 hour drive to Golden I learned that Jord hates talk radio as much
as I do and we can sing a lot of songs without listening to them.
Went side by siding with Leah, MacKenzie, Murphy, Jord, Darian, Mike,
Jen and Darren and even going on the same trails the beauty is breathtaking.
Really was a couple of stellar days. Definitely missed Ryan and the Walisser’s
though.
Anyway, a weekend in Golden reminds me of my lack of
superhuman strength – staying up until 4:00 a.m. is not conducive to a productive
day the next day, Jennifer is SOMETIMES right when she suggests an earlier bed
time, 1:00 a.m. is not a good time to hot tub, singing loudly to scare bears
away can bother a sleeping Darren…my list is long.
It’s never long enough when we are there. Fucking Long
weekends that are not long enough! Good news though – I think my hair has grown
1/16 of an inch over the weekend…….
I’m not sure that there is anyone else on the planet that is
enjoying the Brad and Angelina divorce more than I am. Well, maybe Jennifer
Aniston, but I am definitely one of the top 10 loving it. You know when you know
exactly where you were when you heard Princess Diana or Michael Jackson died? Well when Darian called me with the
glorious news that Brad and Angelina were divorcing I was packing my suitcase
in Thermopolis, Wyoming. I immediately sat down and investigating the truth to
this possible story. 
I sometimes have to deal with serious first-world problems,
like the breaker at my house not being big enough to operate both my hot tub
jets AND the heater or if I should pull out the 6 foot Dogwood bush beside the
house or if LuLu can start carrying size 14 in their crop pants. I know that
sometimes I have to make allowances in my life – not being able to go to Mexico
this fall because I am out of holidays for example. But if Angelina cannot live
off of $1.3 Million for child support then I think she may need to learn to
budget. $1.3 Million is $216,666 for each child. Seriously. Seriously. I raised
my children and put them through post-secondary school for less than that (And Darian went to 3 different post secondary schools!!). 
