Rome - sometime in October……

Obviously I am failing terribly at this daily blogging thing, so I am going to blog about our 3 Italian stops. So first, Rome. Wow! It was called an “Outdoor Museum” and that was an understatement. Every view from everywhere is breathtaking. Jen and I were both overwhelmed. Honestly, it was almost an anxiety attack. The food and the wine are amazing. We arrived in the Rome airport to be greeted by Maria who helped us get our luggage and then took us to our driver. About a 45 minute trip to our hotel in the middle of Rome. The drivers in Italy are following some unwritten road rules. They drive fast, do not recognize lanes, or signal lights, or oncoming traffic, or pedestrians, or the width of the road. It’s mental. What they do recognize is the power of their horn. It lets drivers know they are behind them, coming up to pedestrians or pretty much anything else. I have no idea what would constitute a traffic violation here. It has also given all of us a new respect for Smart cars. 

Our hotel was very nice, rooms were small (we estimated it to be approximately 1/3 the size of our Aberdeen room.)There was almost a marital dispute while we were wheeling our luggage in. I have to backtrack a bit. When we were in the Aberdeen airport we had the most miserable, unhappy troll of a woman that checked us in. My suitcase was overweight (story of my life 🙄) and after getting a 15 minute lecture I had to pay $100 CDN for my suitcase. I forked over the cash and then heard about it for another 10 minutes from this nightmare of a human all the while she was rolling her eyes. I smiled and waved. It should also be said she was not Scottish but from some country just to the east of hell! Needless to say while we were enjoying our favourite pub in the Amsterdam (or as Jennifer requests we all call it Amsterdarn) I took the opportunity to go and buy a new carryon suitcase to accommodate my ever expanding wardrobe. Again to our 15x15 Roman hotel…..we now have 4 suitcases, 1 large backpack, 1 large lulu bag and my purse crammed into this room. It was tight. Delicious supper on a quaint back alley in Rome - movies are made about these places! 

Again some more back tracking - we are playing cards in the AmsterDARN airport, living the life, 4th pint of beer, diligently watching the display board for our boarding time when we decide we we should mosey on down towards our gate. We turn the corner and see 400 people standing in a line, waiting to go through security. Epic fail on our part. We have to board the plane in 20 minutes and we have approximately a two hour wait to go through security. There were 2, count them 2! security people to filter through all of these people. We went to airport person and they “fast tracked” in another line. This line only had 30 people in the line….. it they are averaging 8 minutes per person, so do the math…..WE ARE GOING TO MISS OUR PLANE!! Honestly, if I could have put my head between my legs to avoid a panic attack I would have done it. There we were, pissing around for 4 hours in the airport and now it is situation critical. By some miracle we made it through security but then had to run for 15 minutes to get to our gate. Gate 81 was the frigging furthest gate from where we were. Jesus with us and we made it….only to wait on the plane for 30 minutes while they loaded our luggage. 🙄

Next day is our first tour - the Forum and the Coliseum. We met our guide Mohammed. I was so glad we had a guide. He walked us through 30 centuries of Roman history. The coliseum was quite busy but when Mohammed started talking you didn’t even notice the crowd. Scotland has history but Rome has H.I.S.T.O.R.Y. We also met a very nice couple from High River - Craig and Sue. We went for lunch with them where we discovered that Craig is retired from Immigration Border Patrol. Very interesting. 

Next days tour was the Vatican. Okay, we are going to take this slow. We met our very lovely guide Maura and we were given headsets so we could listen to her talk throughout the tour. Good idea because there was approximately 15,000 people also touring the Vatican. I wish that was an exaggeration but, if anything, that might be a low estimate. This is my forewarning- if you are a strong Catholic you should stop reading. The Catholic Churches are so ostentatious that I am embarrassed for them. Once again the Pope’s apology for residential schools rang through my ears. When Maura gave us the overview of Vatican City and she showed us where the priests live and where the nuns live, “close by so they can wait on them” I pretty much lost interest. There were so many people that you honestly couldn’t see a thing. They just take your money and file you through. We did get to see the Sistine Chapel and Michaelangelo’s amazing ceiling. We did learn that in 1994 Japanese restorer’s cleaned the ceiling but instead of the Catholic Church paying them (I can only assume they are on a tight budget and couldn’t afford the cost….) they gave the Japanese 40 years of copyright on the paintings, so no pictures. We left before the tour was complete - honestly, I would rather walk naked through Rome than do that tour again. And I don’t like walking naked from my bathroom to my bedroom! 

We did also miss the Pope in the morning. Maybe the Pope missed us in the morning. 

Things we have decided about Italy:

1.  we don’t like Aperol spritz’s - disgusting. Vile. 
2. Big beers. Seriously big beers. We stopped on the way to our Vatican tour for a “quick” beer and they wheeled out 4 kegs of beer. Equal to about 17 pee breaks in our immediate future.
3. The Vatican. The fucking Vatican! 🤬

October 2

Sad day, we are leaving Edinburgh. 

I think before I go to our departure, I need to share some Ryan and Jen truths:

1.  if Jen licks a potato chip (because she likes the salt but not the carbs) and hands the chips to Ryan, he will eat it.
2. Jen needed some Kleenex, I think I was mentioning her possible illness, so she was looking for a Kleenex. Ryan dug in his pocket and pulled out a fairly used Kleenex, Jen did not hesitate and grabbed his Kleenex and used it. With abundance.
3. We stopped for lunch and Ryan desperately needed dental floss. Desperately. He made the emergency call. Who answered? Jen. She pulled 18” of dental floss she had previously used out and stored in the door of the car and handed to Ryan with a quick note - it was used. Ryan did not miss a beat, used it, and handed it back to Jen and she tucked it back in the door for either of them to use again in the future.
4. They both share the same contact. There is no problem if one of them can’t see. Nope, they pop out the contact and pass it to the next one. But when they do it they talk in an Italian accent. It makes it more acceptable. 

Sorry, slight detour but it really had to be said. You know you are spending too much time together when….

So leaving Edinburgh. I am sad but we are headed to Findon. To the people I love. I am pretty excited. We had a quick stop in Stonehaven. Just because we have to go full circle. Hard to believe that we were here a short 9 days ago. Honestly, such a hidden gem. Half of my heart will always be here. 

On to Portlethen. This was the little village that we lived in when I lived with mom and dad and Scott in Scotland. Holy shit, it has grown. I had to go towards Old Porty to find my way to Findon. Scott, you would be ashamed. Anyway, Pam and Mike, Roy and Sher and Lynn and Dek. Words can never, never express my love. You are my heart and soul. My childhood and my inspiration. I so, so love you. I canna look at Roy without greeting. I’m so sad mom and dad and Scott aren’t here with me. The laughter and tears mean more too me then you can ever know. I love, love, love you. I could spend 1,000 hours with you. Thank you. Thank you for making Scotland my home. You are the heart. 

So you can only imagine how hard it was to leave. Makes me miss my dad more than anything. 

Okay, on to Aberdeen. Our last night in Scotland. Our hotel room was pretty bloody spectacular. But there was so much work involved. We had to pack, repack, pack, regret our Edinburgh purchases, repack again all while we were drinking the remaining alcohol we had packed around Scotland. While “hot tubbing” in our room. 

October 1

Woke up to 32 degrees and dry clothes - finally. I made some calls and located my missing scarf (I did have to clearly identify the scarf. I said it was black with tan plaid throughout. Nope. Try again. Black with orangey-tan plaid that was left(probably) under the table in the back at (roughly10:30 pm last night). Success. At some point today I am getting custody of my scarf again. Got organized and headed to Hamilton’s for breakfast. Ryan, Jen and I had our first coffee of the day and Fuzz had his first gin of the day. Had breakfast and then came up with a game plan for the day. Jen and I are going shopping at the boys are headed to the Surgeon’ Hall Museum. You know there is some blood and gore involved when the boys are interested in going to a museum. Mind you, it could be a Robbie Burns Museum and they would choose that over shopping. 

So Jen and I did some credit card damage in Edinburgh, without a forethought to our already bulging suitcases that not only had to make it back into our Skoda chariot but also another 4 flights, another country, 5 vehicle transfers AND 3 TRAIN RIDES! But more about that later. Met they boys and my missing scarf at August37 again. Except the boys weren’t there. So there was sat, had a drink and waited, and waited. We were about to call the Canadian Embassy when who appears? Our boys-bubbling with excitement about the various diseases they saw at the Museum (apparently syphilis and tuberculosis were big sellers) and then they were out on the street watching a street performance where a man was swallowing a sword (insert all inappropriate jokes here because we heard them all). We also had to hear about what a pain in the ass it was to go all the way back to the Tolbooth (it was a bit of a walk out of the way) to retrieve my scarf (also along the way Ryan discovered the price ($83)) so there was additional grumbling. We went for a delicious supper at Monteith’s (which ironically was beside The Tolbooth - so the detour the boys made was unnecessary-again, we heard about it). The supper, the ambiance and the service was so good. So were the 4 wine glasses we parted with. 

Our last walk down the the hill and packed our bags. Pretty sad for this chapter to be over.

September 30

Part of the problem with keeping up with my blogs is the fact that I will start a blog and then the %&#*-ing thing doesn’t save.I would like say if it is frustrating but frustrating doesn’t begin to come close to my emotions when I can’t find i! 🤬 So now I’m doing all draft work in Notes! 

Okay, obviously we are a few days ahead of my blogs so I am going to try to do a couple of days in one (while redoing September 30 because it was lost). 

When we woke up in Edinburgh it was blustery. I did tell the group that we had to have one really rainy, Scottish day so that they could appreciate all the glorious days. Well this was the one. Came up with a game plan- walk into Old Town (back up the 400m trek - I am sure walking through Edinburgh is how mountain climbers prepare to scale Mount Everest) and then a light brunch and then to our St. Mary’s Close tour. Jen and I got ready - hair and make up - check check. Two steps out the door and hair and make up was redundant. The rain was sideways. We passed by a weeping willow that was not only weeping but it looked like a dog after having a bath - the wind was blowing so hard from every direction that it looked like it was trying to shake the rain off. I would have taken a video because it really was quite impressive but I was afraid I would lose my phone in the wind or lose my will to walk further and turn around and head back to the safety of our little apartment.

I do actually have to go back to our apartment. This is the last time we have access to a washing machine for our holiday and that washing machine is working so hard it is making the front left tire look lazy. Notice I only said, “washing machine”? No mention of a dryer? Our flat currently looks like a Chinese laundry mat. There are clothes hanging from every possible place. 

So back to our sojourn into the city. We tried to knock a couple more pubs off our To Do list but, apparently, everyone else in Scotland has the same idea. The pubs were packed. Literally standing room only. We needed to venture a little further off the Royal Mile to find lunch, but what a great place we found. Ryan and I each ordered this lunch that was so amazing I know I will be thinking about it for the next few weeks. It was crispy fried, thick cut French fries, topped with the most perfectly cooked macaroni, topped with chunks of spicy battered deep fried chicken that had been fried so the outside was crispy but the chicken was juicy, topped with battered deep fried jalapeños that had been stuffed with cream cheese and then the entire meal was drizzled with melted cheese. Oh. My. God. If I am ever on death row and offered my last meal - that is it. Anyway, we were hoping, praying, that the storm would abate while we were eating our carb infused lunch, nae nae. This storm was just heating up. The struggle we had endure was just the precursor for the shit show that was happening outside. No disrespect to Hurricane Fiona but I do believe that Edinburgh was on the grips of its own Hurricane. We left the sanctuary of our little pub (August37 if you are ever in the city - mention my name and get a 15% discount) and we ventured out. Keep in mind we had to walk about 70 yard to our underground (thankfully) tour. Once we turned the corner onto the Royal Mile the wind and rain were battering us so hard that the 70 yards we had to walk took us 10 minutes. The Royal Mile was deserted, this NEVER happens, this street is usually TEEMING with tourists. 

Safely did our underground tour - this was our second time doing it and it was even better then the first. Also highly recommended. Took us about 45 minutes through the labyrinth of tunnels under Edinburgh to see how residents lived 200 years ago in Edinburgh. The guide that toured us was playing the role of Robert Ferguson, who was a poet that inspired Robbie Burns. He was very disappointed that no one knew who he was, and I felt like a philistine. I am buying a book of poetry by Ferguson and brushing up on my Scottish poetry. Anyway while he was touring us he was giving us a little bit of his own history. At one point, my mind had wandered a bit, and he said that he had fallen and had quite a bad concussion that required him to be hospitalized in the local insane asylum for a time. I had to quickly double check that “Robert Ferguson” was institutionalized not “Matt” the real name of our guide. He was so good, it was easy to be transported back to the 1600’s during bubonic plague outbreak. All the while, my friend, Jen, who has recently developed a scratchy throat, was trying not to cough. We emerged from our underground tour to…..🌞! Blue skies and sunshine! Like the Hurricane never happened! Jen and  I did some light shopping and bought the most beautiful cashmere scarves. The went and met the boys for a beer at the Black Bull. It was at the Black Bull that Fuzz discovered gin. We are not sure if he loves Jen or gin because after a few he says both words the same! Stopped at another pub, then another on our way to The Tolbooth Tavern for supper. A mediocre supper at beast. The colour of the broccoli was reminiscent of the colour of the skin of the bubonic plague victims we had seen earlier. Then a couple more pubs on the way home….only to realize I  no longer had my beautiful cashmere scarf. 🙄. One last pub and then home to our Chinese laundromat. House was 28 degrees Celsius and clothes were still damp.

September 29

Woke up to a magical view, and Ryan and I in twin beds. We had pushed them together but they were on wheels so they were like curling rocks. Those beds pushed around that room like crazy. 

Woke up and went for breakfast. A Scottish breakfast, by definition a Scottish breakfast can feed an entire Scottish football team. Baked beans, Fried potato scones, fried mushrooms, fried tomato’s, black pudding, fried egg, sausages, bacon and haggis. Yep, that’s breakfast. For 1! 

Tried to leave Glencoe, but the fucking paparazzi were there! There was a film crew on the road and they wouldn’t let us through. Fuzz tried to explain that we were part of the crew but he could convince the security guy so we waited. While we waited the boys played a game of crib, while I blogged in the backseat (please see Sept 25th blog…) and Jen contemplated getting a helicopter so she wouldn’t have to ride in the backseat of the Skoda chariot we were riding in. Okay, game on, we got through… 

Again, screwed up on my days - this was the day we played crib and Jen and Ryan beat us. Fuzz was driving and he estimated we did 100 traffic circles. I think we may have done 120. The boys are doing exceptionally well driving/navigating. Our only wish is that they were mute, but you can’t have everything. 

Stirling Castle was our first stop. Pretty stunning from the road. We did a tour. So much quieter then when we were here in 2018. It is a great castle with so much history but after they other castles Darren and Jen were not dazzled. 

Next, National Wallace Monument. Great monument - terrible stairs. Terrible. 246 circular stone stairs that are approximately 36 inches wide. With people coming up and down. When you meet someone on that stairs, you tuck in, start praying and hold on for dear life. The East Indian family, all 16 of them, pass by you and you continue, as quickly as my fat legs will take me. But we made it to the top and saw where William Wallace kicked the English asses at the Battle of Bannockburn. Impressive. Almost as impressive as me making it to the top. For the second time. 

After Fuzz saw the length of Wallace’s sword (an impressive 6 foot long sword) Fuzz said he would have drug that into the battlefield and said, “Okay, fuckers let’s do this” as all 4’4” of him lifted the 6” sword. (I think he would have lasted 8 minutes). We also laughed at Ryan, the soldiers were fed 4 ozs of bread and sent to fight. Ryan would have deserted by 10:45 a.m. 

Then to the Kelpies. I love them but Darren and Jen were still mesmerized by the Wallace Monument. 

Now to Edinburgh. God bless the boys. They did so well. We are seriously in the heart of Old Edinburgh. Got to our townhouse- a little searching to find this little gem. And we discovered the Achilles heel - parking. Holy shit parking. Last time we were here I had the foresight to book a house with parking, this time I thought we could “wing it”, nope, never think you can wing parking in Edinburgh. I think it is easier to find a burial plot in this city than to find a parking spot. Spoiler alert: we paid £38 ($59 CDN) for parking for 1 day, and, God bless, evenings and weekends are free! Unloaded everything and then realized I only booked an apartment with 1 bathroom (more about this later). 

Settled in and then headed into Old Town for supper. Jen and I discovered gin. Gin and soda. This is a whole new new world, the gin world is about to take an uptick in sales. Invest now! Walked into Old Town - about 1.5 kms but about an elevation gain of about 300 metres. A little searching and we meet Delbert and Jan. All Delbert stories are great ones and this was no exception. Great to see them! 2 pubs with them and then we stumbled home….1.5 kms and down 300 metres. If I am not skinny by the end of this trip then there is no God in heaven. 

(Temporary Backup) September 28

We woke up in our little flat in the very rainy Isle of Skye. The very lovely lady that manages the flat was ever so helpful and had a tire pump that increased our front left tire from 9 pounds up to a healthy 16.5. So still going, that front tire is my new best friend. 

Anyway, we went to the amazing Flodigarry Hotel that we cancelled last night. So much better coming in the daylight, this hotel was beautiful. Jen asked why I didn’t book that hotel. Well Jen, the Airbnb I booked was a two bedroom, one bathroom for $235 for both of us. The Flodigarry was $1,100 per room per night. That’s why Jen. But honestly, beautiful. So I highly recommend if you have a grand to blow you should look into this lovely hotel. 

Okay, we have to leave the isle. Had a stopover at Kilt Falls. I am still looking for a Visual Designer but until then: 

so beautiful, us and the 85 other people thought so. 

We broke a golden road trip rule….we travelled the same road twice. but, quite honestly, if you were ever going to take the same road twice, this is the one.  Beautiful both ways. 

Also, made the cemetery that Fuzz passed (stupid idiot) and it was beautiful. Couldn’t even find the oldest grave  it we did find this: 

The church and cemetery was 1050 but thought to be in use 300 years before. So…mike drop…winner, winner, chicken dinner. 

Stopped for lunch in the most Stanley Hotel -esque (from The Shining) from Scotland. Desolate, but beautiful. Fuzz says, “Everything looks like a calendar”. So we played crib (again) Ryan and Jen vs Fuzz and I - and Ry and Jen won. Chicken Potato and Leek soup. I’m making it when I get home. Let me know if you’re coming over.

On to Glencoe. I know I’ve said it before but Holy. Fuck. Beautiful. I have to do a little preface on this story - I booked all the hotels, Airbnb’s, castle tours, vehicle, route, supper reservations, pretty much down to every hour. But a few days before we left, I did make confirmation calls. All was well….until I made the call to Bridge of Orchy hotel - yep, confirmed the reservations for September 29th. Wait. What. Seriously. What the fuck?! I don’t think I can can convey the level of panic that I suffered from. I was sitting at my desk at the plant and I yelled, “FUCK!!” “Fuck!” “FUCK!” I was losing my mind. You have to understand that I booked these hotels 3 months ago and it was a struggle. A. Mother. Fucking. Struggle. Now I need to book 2 rooms within a 10 day window. I finally found 2 rooms….but 1 of them had 2 twin beds and I jumped all over them. My expectations were low for the quality and location of these rooms. I’ve never been so surprised. It was 10x’s better than my first pick. I will share the view from our room: 

This is actually the view from the drone. This is the first time I’ve flown the drone and I’m so glad I did. But I was freaking out a bit about the possibility of losing the drone. I flew up a mountain into a shelter or a shelter like thing. This is the closest I’ve ever flown to anything and if I crashed up there I would have felt really bad for Ryan when he climbed up there to retrieve it. 


We sat outside and played cards when this fairly drunk Scot stumbled by and did a quick (well, as quick as you can do when you’re shittered) and he wanted to know what we were playing, how you dealt it, how you counted points, how much we were betting, the game he played when he was young, asked if he could play…. After 40 minutes Jen and I snuck into her room to make martinis. And hide. We peeked out from behind the curtains, as discreetly as possible, to see our husbands fully entertained by this fella. 

We went for supper to the pub and it was so much fun. Met an Irishman, an English couple in a caravan, a 2 year old Labrador named Jasper, a Border Terrier named Sandy and a couple form Idaho. Any guesses to which ones we would have voted off the island….it rhymes with Ridaho…..